The Amazing Race

It is less than three weeks until the start of a race around the world. Have you ever seen the Amazing Race TV show? I don’t like the action so much as the credit sequence and the captions for the contestants. The “dating models” pose with their backpacks and the “married seniors” open a pair of those ten thousand dollar dental jobs that are as American as they are frightening – I expect them to drip with blood as they devour the “sky diving sisters”.

In our dreams we are the “friendly couple” or “dating lottery winners” and, of course, we are hoping to replace some people we have met before on holiday as the “never ending holiday couple”.

Our nightmare is probably being the “annoying crying couple” (always a classic when we get emotional in the back of the bus!) or the “ex-round the world travellers”. Also it would be very uncool if were cast as the “recent exes” or “penniless wanderers”.

Understanding the Amazing Race
-Road Block – A road block is a task only one of the competing pair can complete, such as; eating meat or map reading. A road block is also where my cousin Ben (who is still at uni at the age of 30-something) gets very drunk and, late at night, takes items from roadworks and places them to block the middle of the road to confuse drunken motorists.
-Detour – This is what happens when you fall asleep on the bus or miss the turning to Yosemite.
-Fast Forward – This is what I will be doing when Bad Religion, Oasis or James Blunt come on our iPod. Or what Miss Deli will be doing when Christina Aguilera comes on.
Yield – This describes our decision making process whereby I acquiesce to Miss Deli’s superior intellect, will, insight and charm, and convince myself days later that it was my idea.

3 songs about races
-#3 Queen, Bicycle Race
-#2 Yello, The Race
-#1 Bad Religion, The Gray Race